10 tips to Restore Romance in your Marriage

Written By: Tara Dinkins

How can I put Romance and intimacy back into my marriage?

This is a common question many people ask themselves. After being married for a number of year, having kids, a job and many other responsible. Couples tend to settle into a routine, putting other things ahead of there own needs.

As a woman, we love the intimacy,  hidden kisses, secret touch and being told we are beautiful or sexy.

I can’t speak from a man’s point of view and we know they would never tell use how they fell anyways.

So I’ve come up with 10 ways to help bring romance and intimacy back into a marriage.

1. Date Night: it’s the one night a week that a couple gets to themselves. Do something together, even if it’s just dinner and a movie. Now I know money can also be tight, but a date night at home can be just as fun. Relaxing by a fire, or cuddling up on the couch. Just do something together.

2. Explore new territory, write down your fantasies and put them in a “fantasy jar.” Then take turns picking out of the jar and act out the fantasies. This can build romance, intimacy, trust and great sex.

3. Be playful. Play a sexy romantic game like twister! Steal kisses while the game is in play.

4. For women, reverse the role when it comes to sex, you become the aggressor. You could even be the one to initiate sex, make the rules, be on top.

5. Be desirable. Throw away the big ugly underwear and ratty tshirts. Buy something sex to wear. Do it for yourself and your significant other.

6. Help build up desire. Send a dirty text message, or even a text message telling the other how much you love them.

7. Seize the moment. Make memories, plan trips, do something you haven’t done before or something you’ve always talked about doing.

8. Do something for one another. Help out around the house, or with shopping. Taking a responsible from the other can help relieve stress and reduce arguments.

9. Be open minded. We all have something we like that the other doesn’t. It could be sexual, such as oral sex or anal sex. Let’s do that for them, and they can always return the favor.

10. Be a man. Surprise your wife. Oh man, do we love surprises and guess what it doesn’t have to be expensive. A night away, would be amazing. A hot bath, while you watch the kids. Roses every now and then. Yes, I know they die, but they make us feel special. Also, tell us we are beautiful. Every women wants to know they are beautiful.

Is your marriage worth the change?

For me, these 10 ways may be helpful to my marriage. But I also know everyone is different, and every marriage isn’t the same. Some will try and succeed, when others may give up and fail.

#romance #intimacy #marriage

 

 

 

 

 

It’s the end of the Book World as we know it…

In March of 2012, I lost my grandfather, I was 36 years old and I was devastated he was my rock, my champion, he was my person!  It was during this time I had an epiphany.  I wanted to do what it took to write and publish a book before it was too late. I began researching how to write query letters, how to find an agent and how to get your manuscript to the Publishing companies. Then it happened….I discovered the Indie Book World and my life changed forever.

One of the first books I read by an Indie Author was Moving Forward by Erika Ashby.  I remember friending her on Facebook shortly after and striking up a conversation on Self Publishing.  Time moved on and I began discovering other great Indie Authors: Kendall Grey, Harper Sloan, Sloan Johnson, Lola Stark , etc.  There were so many during that period I read and loved.

I had written Destiny’s Detour in about 30 days and over the next year and a half, I revised it at least 100 times.  In the meantime, I began a book blog with a friend and loved reading and reviewing other authors books.  I enjoyed the way the Indie Book World was a huge support system and a huge network of friends I’ve never met.

In 2014 things changed(change is going to happen so it’s not always a bad thing).  Suddenly I was a published author, I was attending book signings, I was one of the “cool kids”.  Then more events happened, I began noticing little things,

I was changing who I was without even realizing it.  I was becoming someone I didn’t like.  I noticed more and more how the Indie World was turning into an adult version of high school.  My anxiety was going off the charts.  I could hardly function.  I realize looking back some of it was my unhappiness with my own behavior and some was unhappiness with what I saw going on in the Book World I loved.

I’m sorry for the wrongs I committed  in 2014.  Please know if I personally hurt you, or offended you.  I am truly sorry, that is not who I am or who I want to be and I will take every step I can to avoid that from here on out.

In Nov 2014 my grandma took a serious fall that ended with her being life flighted and having to have the whole right side of her face reconstructed.  It was a defining moment in my life.  I realized then I wasn’t happy with the way things were going.  Over the next 5-6 months as we went through her recovery period I was not a part of the Indie World day in and day out.  I felt better, my anxiety was less.

When I finally made my way back to the community I did so vowing not to make the mistakes I made the first time, I wouldn’t be “that person”

It’s been a struggle the last 2 years for me.  I no longer have the same circle of Indie friends.  I’ve struggled with book sales, I have watched the Indie World tear each other apart and it makes me sad.  Sad that the world I once loved and respected has become a middle school battleground.  Readers and authors attacking each other, Authors attacking authors, Readers becoming entitled and demanding free books etc from Authors. The list could go on.

Authors are people, we have feelings, families, lives.  Writing is a career, one many of us are passionate about.  And often times you ask yourself is it really worth it?  I will never give up writing it’s too important to me.  You’ll never see me post I’m giving up writing.

However, I have to rethink actually publishing because it’s not worth my family going into debt, it’s not worth the anxiety, and it’s not worth watching the MEAN GIRL mentality that has become all too common.

My Challenge:  If you are a part of the Indie Book World in any way, remember what made you fall in love with the community, embrace it, live it,  nothing stays the same but even in a changing world we can maintain a respect for our fellow Indies.  I’d love to hear positive stories of how the Indie Book World has helped you.  You can leave a comment or email me.

On the Edge

On the Edge

Book 1 Knight Series

June 2014

Erotic/Mafia Romance

 

Leaving an abusive life behind is not a crime.

 

Katarina Roberts’ only goal is to get the hell out of Belmont, and the further away, the better. After living with an abusive mother most of her life, her brother Drew, part of the town’s notorious Knight Crime family, is doing everything he can to help her attend school at UCLA.

 

Cole Knight is being groomed to take over the Knight family business. A lethal combination of sexy and dangerous, he has no interest in a relationship… until he meets Kat. Cole wants Kat, and will stop at nothing to have her and keep her, and make her part of the ‘family’.

 

Kat and Cole have an explosive connection from the first moment they lay eyes on one another.

 

Now, Kat faces the hardest choice of her life… Cole or UCLA? Cole would mean dealing with everything that comes from being a “Knight.” A world where you are constantly worrying about your loved ones being hurt or possibly worse. But loving him makes it seem worth it. Or does she stick with the plan to get as far away from Belmont as possible? Will she give up her dreams of UCLA for Cole?

 

Buy Now:  $0.99

http://amzn.to/1TaMVNo

Free on KU

 

#OntheEdge  #KnightSeries #MafiaRomanceOTE eBOOK_WEB

5 Reasons to Read Romance Novels

I am southern, deep in the Bible Belt raised. Yet, I have no issue with Romance Novels and  sex. I’m likely to talk to you about sex like I’m discussing what’s for dinner. Who doesn’t enjoy  reading a good story with some great sex in the mix?  I know most of you won’t admit you do (especially in public). Over the years, I have had the opportunity to talk to men and women both about sex and Romance novels. Many harbor a lingering notion sex is taboo and romance novels are nothing more than soft porn. (although in all fairness this may be slightly true, I’m ok  with it though)

Let’s look at some of the reasons why women should read Romance Novels(and  men could benefit if they read one or two)

Escape­ Real life is hard,  There is no owner’s manual. Real shit happens. We get married, have kids, people get sick, loved ones die. You fight with the man who once made your toes curl. Money is always tight. STRESS is the name of the game. Many addictions start as a  method of escaping reality.  Romance Novels is probably one of the healthiest escapes a woman can take.  No thinking is required when you read a romance novel.  We all need some  “me” time to escape the stress of real life, just remember it’s a hobby not a way of life.

Variety­ is the spice of life. Men have used this to justify cheating in a relationship. Men are sex driven period.  Men need sex like women need romance.  The key to success in a marriage or personal relationship is compromise that works for both partners.  However, many are afraid to  get real and have these talks. Romance Novels allow you to be whoever, wherever, and  whenever you want. It’s a way to have a grand love affair without cheating on your spouse  because it’s not real it’s all make believe. It’s safe in our imagination, no STDs, no unwanted  pregnancies etc.

Bad Boys­  Every woman at least once in her life has fantasized about taming the bad boy. I  call bullshit if you say you haven’t.  We are irresistibly drawn to his swagger, his charm, he  oozes sex from every pore in his toned and tattooed body. Reality Check: Bad Boys are not  easy to tame in real life. Once a player always a player.  Romance Novels allow us to live out  this fantasy in safety. Our hearts won’t be stomped on. We won’t be left a broken sobbing mess on the bathroom floor (at least not for long in a novel).  It’s truly okay to fantasize through  novels.

Love­. Women are emotional creatures. We are designed to need affection. We like the  arousal of attraction, (sometimes more than sex)  We are completely smitten with the idea of  romance in a relationship (some women get lucky and have a romantic spouse).  We are in love  with the idea of love.  Romance Novels give us an opportunity to fall in love over and over with  book boyfriends. These books feed our need to experience romance daily.

Sex­  “Let’s talk about sex baby”  gotta love Salt N Pepa (yes I’m old school).  Growing up in the  Bible belt I was raised in church I was there every time the doors open. Church tends to teach  that sex is only for procreation within the bounds of marriage(I have no issue if a person chooses to wait until marriage).  It seems there is an unspoken (sometimes it is spoken) message that sex is not to be enjoyed. BULLSHIT! Sex is natural.  We were created for it. It’s why our bodies fit together. Romance Novels are often the first step in a woman admitting she  enjoys sex. It’s normal to enjoy sex. It’s okay to be a little kinky in the bedroom. Sadly most  women never get past this step and it remains a fantasy life. I encourage you to read your man  a scene from a novel and see what happens. Let him create your fantasy in the bedroom and return the favor and be his fantasy too. Place some boundaries know what is okay don’t go into without talking some about it. Sex is not a duty or chore, and while procreation is nice it’s not the  only reason for sex. ENJOY IT!

I have discussed a few reason that Romance Novels are good for women to read.  What are  your thoughts? I want to hear from you leave a comment to this post or if you wish to drop me a private message you may do so at maribrownauthor@gmail.com